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Tax Jokes and Quotes
Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND? Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns. Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes." Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now." Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required." Q: Who audits IRS agents? Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund." Q: How do you drive a CPA insane? A: Fill out Form 1040EZ. Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect." Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion? Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling." Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth? A: Have them fill out a tax return. Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr." Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house. Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?" People often say death and taxes are the same, but this is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die. Richard Chapo is CEO of www.businesstaxrecovery.com">http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.
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The Annual Gift Tax Exclusion: Getting The Edge Whether helping the kids with a down payment on their first home, paying the premiums on a life insurance policy in an irrevocable trust, or moving appreciated assets to a younger generation, annual gifting will touch the lives of millions of Americans. But before the transfer is made, an investor should spend some time looking at the investment and the tax ramifications of the property to be passed. History Of The Federal Income Tax The powers of Congress, and the limitations set upon those powers, are set forth in Article I of the United States Constitution. Section 8 specifies both the power to collect, "Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises," and the requirement that, "Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States. Tax Trap #4 -- The Quagmire of Depreciation If you are a Small Business Owner or Self-Employed Person, there's one especially lucrative tax break that not only puts money in your pocket, it also makes the filing of your business tax return much simpler.What am I talking about? It's called the Section 179 deduction, and if there's one tax break you need to understand, this is it. What You Need To Know About Taxes If You're Getting Married It may not be high on the list of wedding planning activities, but there are a few simple steps that can help keep tax issues from interrupting your newly wedded bliss. If you recently married, check out your new tax situation. 1031 Exchange Rules and Requirements Following is a reproduction of the IRS's rules and requirements for 1031 tax deferred exchanges with regards to real property. If you have any questions regarding the sale of your real property or questions about what qualifies for a 1031 exchange or not, please consult your tax professional. Tax Deduction for Alimony Payments? - Yes! Over 50% of marriages end in divorce in the United States. Many divorce decrees include provisions for the payment of alimony. 10 Thoughts on Tax Offer in Compromise Beware of advertisements that claim to settle tax debts for "pennies on the dollar". Check the Offer In Compromise requirements to see if it is right for you. How to Check the Status of Your Tax Refund Online So, you were pleasantly surprised to learn that you are getting a refund on your taxes. Congratulations! The question for most taxpayers expecting a return is, "Where is my refund?"Check Your Refund Status OnlineThe easiest way to check on your refund is to ask the IRS through IRS. How to Reduce the Estate Tax Using the A-B Revocable Living Trust In a past article I relayed the plight of the widow who stated:"I didn't realize what an A-B Revocable Living Trust meant and that it had to be divided between the survivor and the deceased spouse and that I am limited as to what I can use from his share."She told me that she only learned of this after her husband passed away. Section 179 - Tax Relief From Depreciation Rules "Depreciation." For business owners, this word is the one most likely to inspire headaches and fits of cussing. Know A Tax Cheat? Get Paid To Tell The IRS According to the IRS, taxpayers underpay their taxes by some $300 billion. If you know someone that is contributing to that deficit, the IRS may be willing to pay you up to $10 million for the information you provide. Need an Offshore Sales Office in a Tax Free Environment? The 100 year old investment-banking firm of Warburg, Dillon Read (on Park Ave. N. State Tax Information All states also have their own tax system. Typically there is a tax on real estate, and there may be additional income taxes, sales taxes, and excise taxes. Tax Trap #1 -- Waiting to Incorporate: What A Difference A Date Can Make NOTE: This is the first in a series of 5 articles: "Small Business Tax Traps and How To Avoid Them"If you're a sole proprietor, perhaps you've considered incorporating your small business or self-employment activity.And so maybe you've been wondering, "When is the best time to incorporate?"From a legal standpoint, any time is the best time. Tax Trap #2 -- Double Taxation: Isnt Once Enough? Have you been thinking about incorporating your small business or self-employment activity? The advantages are many!For starters, you'll be protecting yourself and your family from the possible of a business ending lawsuit. Forming a corporation is Step One on the path known as "Asset Protection" -- you are moving from the world of unlimited liability to the world of limited liability. Euro Tax Haven Threat Media reporting of a new EU savings tax directive has left many people wondering whether European tax havens could soon become obselete.The July directive requires banks throughout Europe, including low and no tax areas such as Gibraltar, Monaco, Malta and Andorra, to disclose bank account owner information to their home country's tax authority. Military Reservists, Enlistees May Get Deferral of Back Taxes Reservists called to active duty and enlistees in the armed forces may qualify for a deferral of taxes owed if they can show that their ability to pay taxes was affected by their military service.The deferral covers active duty members of the military services - Army, Navy, Air Force, Marine Corps and Coast Guard - and commissioned officers of the uniformed services - Public Health Service and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Rental Property Tax Deductions Own residential rental properties? This article discusses how income from those properties impacts your taxes.What Constitutes Revenue?Generally, rental income is defined as any revenue you receive from the occupancy or use of residential property. To Tax or Not to Tax - This is the Question To tax or not to tax - this question could have never been asked twenty years ago.Historically, income tax is a novel invention. Tax Secrets - How Drew Miles Helped Me How about a Tax Tip?As we all know Taxes are a necessary evil. While none of us like paying taxes there are many strategists out there that can make your life a lot easier when that dreaded day arrives.
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